Haha. I’m not going to reveal what I meant for my topic. Hee!

After a long day, I can’t remember what I wanted to blog. I have a lot of things to blog in the afternoon but I have no internet access. Hmm.Oh yes! I have not pack anything yet. I will go pack soon.

Anyway, just to sidetrack a bit, some lame joke.  

For guys who has the surname Yu, they shouldn’t call themselves Lennon because it sound like Lemon Fish(Lemon Yu). Haha! Ok, I know its lame. Sometimes, its fun being a receptionist when you get to see interesting names.

Anyway, thanks jie ying for uploading the photos. I’m so stupid because I messaged you when I know your handphone was stolen. Haha! The service at Cathay Aston really cannot compared to the outlet at Katong. Anyway, had a great night that day. Oh and I have received my first 21st birthday present. Thanks so much!

I have to go pack now. Ciao!

Can I have the measurement for friendship?

I want to trim my hair.

By next week.

The main culprit for my sleepless nights : having many brains in my head.

I’m not trying to say that having many brains = I am very clever.

What I wanted to say is with many brains in my head, I have a lot of things in my mind and have been thinking over and over throughout the slience night. Being a Perfectionist(trying hard to be one), I am not someone who wants things to be done in my way but wants things to be done in the most perfect way.

~You’ll never fail until you stop trying~

I’m Stubborn. Those extreme kind. I really wonder where’s all my motivations and strength gone to. I used to have all the mighty strength to slog my life, but now, all gone. I guess I am too hardworking in the past and now my body has stop functioning well.

 The only thing that is functioning very well is my tiny brain. It work best at night and process really well. I had a hard time convincing it to stop processing at night. The “Stop” button is malfunction again. I need my beauty sleep badly.

Anyway, yesterday, I came upon a website which is opened by one of my secondary schoolmate. At age of 21, she has started her own business with her partner and I believe she is earning big bucks now. Maybe not now but in a year time. She set up her own business and went for meetings after meetings finding suppliers to support her. She has always been someone who is creative and having all kinds of weird ideas. I wish her success from the bottom of my heart.

Have you ever tried to google your name? I googled my friend’s name(the one above) and you are able to find interviews on her and her company. I can’t find anything interesting on my name other than Facebook link. Haha! So embarrasing!

I always wanted to set up my own business as well but I really don’t know what to do. My friend gave up the opportunity to further her studies and focused on her company. Like what she said: “It’s just a certificate to be recognized”. Well, I guess I have made the choice to focus on my studies, I have nothing to complain.

My 5-years plan have been pushed back. Actually, should say that I have make changes to my plan. I don’t dare to plan far ahead nowadays because anything can happen anytime without warning and you have to start all over again. That’s life!

Before I end my post, just a little update on myself.

I have been lazing around daily and only move my butt last friday to plan for my sister’s wedding. I consider myself as a wedding coordinator than the wedding planner. November and December will be my most busiest month of the year.  I don’t even have the time to plan for my big day. I guess I will make it as simple as it is. (parts of me feel like canceling the party)

Attended Ch’s Surprise Party two days back. I saw the video on facebook and can see that he is really very touched and surprised. Though she did not invite a lot of friends, I guess what’s important is the number of true friends which attended that day. How many true friends will attend mine?

I will be skipping my last M2 class today because I’m lazy. Tomorrow will be meeting Julye and Jie ying for dinner. Where shall we eat? See you gals at 530pm outside PS. Three days of temp job as receptionist from Wednesday onwards. Am I bound to be receptionist forever? I hope not.

Due to my wrong assumption, I read the map wrongly. Oh Man! What am I suppose to do? Oh Gosh! How?

Hmm…

My baby loves Barney! Me too! =)

Its getting pretty FRUSTRATING!

Before I start all the planning, I am being stressed over and over again. I really feel like giving up. Every single day have to receive attitude and his frequent scoldings, I choose to remain silent. He wanted to use reverse psychology on me but I know it doesn’t work at all. He even want to sever ties with me, isn’t that getting more atrocious? (Stop it before I can’t control myself)

07 Nov 09 – I am 21, 30 Nov 09 – I am 21 as well. Throughout the whole of 2009, I am 21 years old. Don’t give me the crap that I am not 21 yet so I am in control. I don’t believe that after 30 Nov 09, you will let me go.

I give myself one more week. Since you are playing with my patience, I will play it with you. If by next sunday, you can’t compromise, I will give it up. Even before everything happens, I am defeated by the pressure I received.

I didn’t sleep well yesterday because of all these things. Even for my birthday celebration, I am superly stressed over all the small little things.

haiz. That’s life I guess.

Anyway had a great night at Alyssia’s Birthday Party. All the fun and photo-takings. Though there isn’t a lot of people but can feel the warmth and love for her. I wonder how will mine be?

I hope everything will go smoothly from today onwards. Anyway, My sis is coming back from Taiwan today. Woohoo!

I know you care for me, but, give me a break will you, please.

Ok, I don’t have the mood to blog but feel the need to update my rusty blog.

Contract ended on Tuesday and I have been “nua-ing” at home since Wednesday. I enjoy the time I spent at home however I know the cycle will begin again where I will feel bored and start grumbling and will look for another job.

Last night, my ZHU peng gou you called me from Wallaby. I’m so happy to receive his call and felt so honoured to be the first he called to. Haha. What makes me more than happy is he’s still alive. He mentioned that he afraid when he return to SG, all of us will not remember him. Haha! I guess he take my joke too seriously. Don’t worry friend, I’m just kidding! Our 4years of friendship will not go into grave just because your two months of outfield.

He mentioned that if there’s anything happen, I can message him in FB. It makes me shiver at that point of time because I did hide something from him and was amazed that he know. Maybe is just a casual remark, I’m too sensitive.

Tonight has POBF lesson. Feel like skipping class =(

I used to slogged my life to keep myself busy so that I can refrain from thinking unnecessary stuffs. I wasted my youth during poly years when I supposedly should be out having fun. Maybe is cause of that, now, I rather live my life to the fullest even though my bank account is running low.

I thought of going back to the busy life that I used to have because os money concern, however, I do not have the motivation at all. So what if I manage to earn money yet I don’t enjoy my life at all?

I’m back to the square one where I have no idea what I want to do from this point of time. Contract ending on tuesday and I am still comtemplating whether to look for another temporary job in the meantime. Nope, I am still not prepared to go back to a permanent job.

Tell me, what am I supposed to do?

XH, Thanks for the accompany today. Don’t worry about talking too much, I’m more on a listener than a speaker(you should know it better). Maybe you didn’t realise, I have talked too much than the usual tonight. I always need the right time and the right atmosphere for me to pour out more. I am simply too tired today.

Honestly speaking, while listening to you, half of me was really listening, the other half of me have ran back home worrying about my mum. She angried with me for returning late. The usual. No worries so much because she always acted that way when Cinderella is late.

Just wanted you to know, no matter what, you can always speak to me when you feel there’s a need. Drop by my house if you need to. Cinderella’s mum don’t bear grudges. =)

Neither here not there.

I don’t care its going to hit 1am soon, I am still going to blog if not I don’t think I will be able to fall asleep.

I am deeply in love with Edward. I love him so much that I wish to be Bella. I just finished up the book two hours back. I know I can’t be Bella because she’s extraordinary that’s why Edward will fall in love with her. It’s so romantic, I can’t seems to pull myself out of the story again. This time round, I didn’t think of myself as Bella. I am a third party so envious over their romance. Its so sweet!

During the MSM class, my mind is full of Edward and Bella. I can’t stop thinking about them and wished the class will end early so that I can finished up my last few pages. Anyway, guess who I saw in MSM class?

It’s Shi Min. I didn’t expect her in the same class as me. We only met each other in the toilet during the break. Next time I have companion in class and we can go back home together. Haha!

After reading Twilight, I have the strong urge of getting into a relationship. I wanted a guy to be protective but not posessive of me. I am not Bella who doesn’t really have close friends other than Edward. I have to give my time to my friends as well. I know I cannot be impulsive again and make the same silly mistake. What comes will comes.

Someone(guys) please date me. Haha!

Anyway, there’s a classmate who caught my eyes today. Its not because of how he look but is because his legs are thinner than me. Oh Man! I have to be more cautious on my intake of food. Seriously, I’m getting rounder and rounder. I can feel it whenever I wear sleeveless now and then. I must start exercising after my contract ends.

And, there’s another guy who caught my eyes too. He’s from the ACCA class. I saw him during break when he came out of the classroom. He’s tall, dark and have very nice features especially his big round eyes. But, he is too tall for me. =(

I have to apologise for my previous entry as I am not sure what kind of language am I using as I wrote in haste. Going to dream of my Edward. Nights peeps! =)

Let’s talk about the dream I had few nights back. I should say its one of the worse nightmares I had for the past few years.

I don’t know where I am in the dream. What I can remember is that I keep shouting vulgarity (chinese,english,hokkien) and crying out loud. When I woke up in the morning, my eyes were swollen red. I really cried in my dream.

I guess I’m too stress up.

Farewell dinner for Gab at Benn’s house. I am so grateful to benn’s mum for cooking nice dishes that night. And, the yummilicious brownie.

I missed Gab’s call when he’s flying off. I tried to call back 20minutes later but his handphone was off. Damn! I missed it. Hmm.

Kim Gray Dinner and Frolick yoghurt with my Gossip Girls on monday night. Haha! Thanks ladies for the company, love love.

Oh yes, forgot to mention, my contract ends next wednesday. It gave me a shock when Cor informed me because its was earlier than I expected. I gonna lose my job again. Someone asked me whether wanna go back TA to work, I guess not.

Should I or not look for a job in the meantime? Hmm…

Another BIG event that’s coming up is my birthday. Those who know me should know how important my birthday means to me. Its so important till the fact I want absolute nothing to go wrong on that day. But, till now, I doesn’t have any mood to do anything about it. I have trouble coming out with the name. I thought of using my initials to form a name. How about Sexy, Flirty, Lust? Wahahaha!

Anyway, I just started reading Twilight few days back. I keep smiling to myself while reading it. I know why my Gossip Girls were so addicted to it. Even me, wanted so much to be Bella. Haha. Where’s my Edward? 

Till Then. Nights.

What comes to your mind when you see the title?

“There She goes again, whinning over the past failed relationship”

Nah. This title is meant for my dearest friend who is going oversea training in Australia.

On the first day of school, he’s the first person who speaks to me in class. We went for lunch together as a class and he sat opposite me. He was “scares” by me who kept starring blankly behind him(I’m stoning) while eating the mixed rice. We became good friends after that.

He’s a irritaing fellow but deep down, I know he’s a very nice guy. He’s always there for me whenever I’m having my emotional breakdown. We do bickers at times, but there will not be any hard feelings after which. He never say a good thing about me, likewise me too. He always blame me, scold me, argue with me and tease me.

He taught me a lot of new things and to look at things at different perspective. He pushed me to be a stronger person and pulled me out from my mess. Yes, I am still taking my time to heal myself.

We always have a lot of common topics and sometimes he can read through my mind and vice versa. We tried not to mention about own relationship stuffs and I do feel awkward sometimes if I wished to talk about. I don’t know why. Sometimes, people thought we are couple but we are just very good friends.  

I knew too many dirty secrets about him and he knew mine too. He never like to force me to say things that I don’t feel like saying. He respect and care for me as a friend. So do I. I really treasure my friendship with him. There’s too many things to say if I continued and I think I should stop here.

My Zhu peng you, do take care of yourself during the training and your “distant relative-me”  will of cause miss you when you are away. (i know you won’t get to see this post but it’s ok.)

~!~!~!

Four years and should have stop long ago…

Memories are unforgettable. Sometimes, I do hope that I will lose my memory. I will forget everything and start afresh. I am too tired. I do hate myself at times for thinking excessively. I can be positive at times but negative most of the time. I kept telling myself, its time to let go. It’s not easy at all. I played with my emotions and it hurts badly.

Move On FL and be happy. Everyone is rooting for you.

~!~!~!

Maybe, I shouldn’t even have come to this world.