你问在我心中
是否还苦恼
那次受伤
否决了爱的好
谢谢你的关照
我一切都好
一个人不算困扰
爱虽然很美妙
却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待
仔细寻找
感觉很重要
宁可空白了手
等候一次
真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上
一定会遇到
对的人出现在眼角
那次流过的泪
让我学习到
如何祝福如何转身不要
在眼泪体会到
与自己拥抱
爱不是一种需要是一种对照
爱虽然很美妙
却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待
仔细寻找
感觉很重要
宁可空白了手
等候一次
真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上
一定会遇到
对的人出现
能愿意为了一份爱付出去多少
然后得到多少并不计较
当我想清楚的时候
我就算已经准备好
放手去爱
海阔天高
喔—耶—-
爱要耐心等待
仔细寻找
感觉很重要
宁可空白了手
等候一次
真心的拥抱
我相信在世界上
一定会遇到
对的人出现
爱要耐心等待
仔细寻找
感觉很重要
宁可空白了手
等候一次
真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上
一定会遇到
对的人出现

This song keeps repeating in m mp3. I love this song. I know its a very old song but I find the lyrics very meaningful. The first time I heard it when Siew sang this song during one of our KTV session. I’m going to make it as my ringtone. Haha!

does not work for me. I don’t feel happy at all.

Total damage as of today for this week is $140. This is only for physical shopping excluding online shopping.  I remember mentioning in previous post that I need to scrimp and save yet I splurge like nobody business. I have to start eating grass now.

Today is not a good day for calling out. Haiz.

Siew is coming back today. Haha. Gab is going off on friday.

Brain blocked. Will continue later.

Getting Atrocious. Say me Old-fashioned, Traditional, Conservative or whatever. Please THINK before you act.

I’m telling you now that I’m pissed with you. If you know you are the one, don’t need to explain anything to me.

This is the last time I’m going to say: I can’t be bothered anymore.

Haiz…

I’m really very tired for these two days because of the preparation of my Sis’s Wedding but I have to blog it out. I have a lot to say but I really don’t have the mood now. My brain is not working due to tiredness.

I no longer feel angry. This is not a good sign.

Suppose to clean up my house today but because of the meeting with my sister and brother-in-law in the morning and meeting with Conrad in the afternoon, I cleaned my television area only.

I have yet to finalise on the dress I want to get. I will go Far East tomorrow during lunch break to take a look at the dress I’m eyeing. Its expensive though. I went Daniel Yam today, can’t decide on blue or purple. I like the design but the color wise still can’t decide. I like another one with Grecian feel. But the scarves attached keep dropping off my shoulder. I have narrow shoulder.

After which, while waiting for my sister to fetch me back, I walked around Marina Square alone. Everywhere is having Sales. I am so tempted to splurge. If I did not control myself, I will have spend 300-400 sgd. I went back to Topshop to see the bag that I have eyed for quite awhile, after much thought, I think I will forgo it. Mango is having crazy sales. I wanted to get a lot of things from there but I stopped myself again. Haiz.

Oh yes, I saw a sandal and a covered shoe at Charles & Keith. The sandal is very very pretty but very expensive as well. The covered shoe is FL’s style of shoe. Love it man. But, so expensive. Haiz.

It’s time to bring in more shoes since I have discarded three away today. I’m going to clear my old clothes later. Sound as if I’m very rich. Since I won’t wear them anymore, might as well give it to charity. Right? Time to bring in more clothes IF I have the money. Haha!

I’m tired. Ciao!

Left ear in, Right ear out. Can’t be bothered anymore!

…is the personality build in oneself.

Before I continue, let me warn you, it will be a long post.

What makes one different from another is the different personality that one born with.

And I always believe in a leopard will never change its spots. Never.

We can try to improve but the personality will still remains. We may tone it down but it will still be there. You can’t get rid of it.

These few days, my thinking cells get over-active and my hormones change drastically. No, I don’t feel happy, I’m just confused, feels empty and upset. I can’t figure out why because my mind is blank. I see flashes and that triggers my mind to start thinking.

Sometimes, I do hate myself to have a good memory. Its not good at all. When you have a good memory and others who doesn’t and they break their promise just because they forgets easily, its pretty upsetting. I guess I will have senile dementia before I hit 40. I have overwork my brain cells but I cant’ stop myself for not thinking.

Sometimes, I do hate for pushing myself too hard. I do feel the satisfaction when something is doing well on my part. However, due to the strong determination (or should I say because I’m stubborn), I make myself more tired. I did so many things but ultimately, I’m not sure whether I’m happy doing all those stuffs.

Sometimes, your thinking may not be what others thinking. You may think that is a good idea but to others, its not at all. I will never do that again. I’m not upset about anything, just that it turns out ugly.

Can anyone tell me what is fair and what is not? What is give and what is take?

Giving in too much doesn’t mean you are asking for returns. Taking it too much doesn’t mean you need to take it for granted.

Give and take is just one line different. They compromise each other but you have to choose only one. Can I choose to Take?

Talk is Cheap. That makes Action Expensive.

Some people say I’m silly. I’m not. I just want everyone to be happy.

If one day, I turn into someone who just Take and doesn’t bother with anything, I guess people will start asking me what makes me change so much. Honestly speaking, I know who take me for granted. I choose not to say and bother to respond because I know I will be labelled as Sensitive(who cares?).

From now onwards, I will take things lightly and can’t be bothered anymore. Because, I’m not perfect in the first place.

Just a little update of the past few days.

I went for my interview. I flunked it. Why? First, the person went out for lunch and made me wait 30 mins for her. I even cabbed down just so that I won’t be late. Secondly, the pay is too low. Thirdly, I’m not confidence in myself to take up this job.

My stomach is having runs for two days and only feels better last night. One after another.

I uploaded my birthday photos in FB. Like finally. It took me 4hours to upload and tag most of the photos. I slept at 4am. Though I said before I will update on my chalet, Actually there isn’t much things for me to say. I wanna thanks those who came and the decorations team for the lovely decorations. Of cause the lovely presents too.

I do not have anything to wear to my sister’s wedding dinner. No time for me to do that since I’m working for the next three days. I dread to work because there’s a lot of things I need to do. I shouldn’t have take up the job. Damn.

I feel like splurging but I know I can’t. Because I left pathetic 20bucks till the end of the year. Not inclusive of transportation. Pack lunch for the next three days. I know, I have to touch on my savings definitely.

Taiwan had earthquake late evening. Lucky Zhu Gong is safe. But, he left his phone at home and his mum saw my message. That’s embarrasing! 

I need good food to clear my thoughts. Chomp Chomp!!!

The world is perfect if you stop thinking too much. (to myself)

with my broken left wrist.

Its not exactly broken, I’m not sure what really happen but this is the second time. I can’t carry anything even light-weighted stuffs using my left hand. I must find the right angle for holding light-weighted stuff such as wallet and handphone. Its a no-no for things heavier than my handphone. See how bad it is?

I can’t even type without feeling pain. I used my right hand most of the time. I’m glad I am a right-hander. It looks silly to those office personnels that I have to carry the heavy stuffs with my right hand, put it down to pull the extremely heavy door, pick it up the stuffs again and walked into the office.

I cancelled my appointment with Serin because my left wrist need serious help. I am so sorry for that. Without my left hand, I can’t do a lot of things. Especially playing the piano. I will be totally devasted. I need to see a doctor soon.

Till then.

One who doesn’t really understand a woman.

One who does really understand a woman.

Let me start with the one who doesn’t. He’s my angel who will seldom reject me when I call. Maybe he really doesn’t understand a woman that well and that that explains why we have very different perspective. He always goes with his ways and thinkings but never really care about how the woman feel. Let’s say its insensitive. He can be a good listening ear and a good comforter. After a long conversation with him, I truly understand him now. Maybe he is a mcp or maybe he is just being insensitive. I didn’t confront or argue back. I just listen to his point of view. 

He is a practical person. He wants you to face the reality and stop dreaming. Sometimes he forces me too. Its just him being insensitive. He didn’t do it on purpose. He just wants me to wake up. There isn’t right or wrong to him, every thing that you do, there must be a reason behind it. He’s not a judgemental person too.

Come to the one who really understands woman.

 He’s very sensitive towards woman’s emotions. He understands us and shower his care and concern when needed. He will choose the right time to speak to you. I admire him a lot. I will always look for him when I need someone to hear me cry. Being with him makes me feel comfortable. He doesn’t force me to face the reality but he will be there trying to help you to recover.

He differentiates what’s right and wrong. He draws the line between relationship and friendship. He knows how to control his own emotions so as not to affect the other party. Well, he’s a judgemental person.

That’s the difference between my two angels. I love them both as friends. Sometimes I’m selfish enough to think of them not getting into a relationship so that I will have them when I’m feeling low. So selfish! They need a life. Me too!

Just to add-on, Both of them truly understand me well. Though they may not see the other side of me, they know what’s going through my mind.

Pardon me for a long post, I have a lot in my mind and I need to let it out.

After skipping one MSM class, I totally lost. I regret for skipping it. I need to start revising if not by January, I will be confused. No matter how good the lecturer is, if you don’t put in effort, you will still fail. Buck up FL!

Met J for Lunch on friday as she wants to pass me my belated birthday present. Lovely present indeed especially the details on it. A lovely white shawl! Thanks so much!

I may not know J for long but I really like her for being so innocent and sweet. I love her simple thinking and forever caring and kind-hearted person. The first day we met is the first day we step into SR. We only get closer few months before I’m leaving. By the way, we are from different department.  I’m grateful to know someone like her.

She told me about her amazing love story. I will get too long-winded over it. I will just make it short. Fate is playing with her. After one big round, she’s back with the one that truly has special feelings for her. I really hope they will last and of cause wish that she will stay happy always. I love to be her sister for her wedding. I will volunteet myself even if she doensn’t want me. Haha!

I skipped S2 on saturday morning because of Eclipse. I took my S2 out and studied myself while I skip school. The discipline last for one hour only when my sis came back home to discuss her wedding. I did ST for while before meeting xue for dinner. Such a lonely saturday night. Haha! Poor us!

I’m not sure whether I scare the hell out of her about my confessions of being a crazy person. All along she knows about my obsession of thinking too much, but yesterday was more than that. She must be wondering how come she will have such friend in her life. A different person. But, Too bad my friend, you have to accept me. If not I will hound you forever.

Siew and Ting, don’t be glad that your have not seen other side of me, as crazy as I sound, I will make sure your will see the other half of me. Wahahahaha! Evil!   

Like what xue says, I only showed 30-50% of my true self to them and 10-20% to my other friends. Only my family see the 100% of me. Its not that I try to act nice or being hypocrite, is just that nobody is born to face with one’s attitude. Not even my family. I felt apologetic to them whenever I threw my temper. I’m not as nice as what others think. I only showed myself to those that I’m comfortable with. I have been trying to improve myself contantly and I’m still trying. Let it be if you can’t accept me. I can’t pleased everyone.

After the talk, I went on to read eclipse till 4am. I left two chapters and manage to chop it down this morning. I started to dislike Bella. You can’t have the best of both world. Choose One, mind you.

I am watching the SPD Charity Show that I have recorded accidentally. Though its repeating again on Channel U but I’m watching the recorded show so I can fast forward anytime I like. Haha! Anyway, sometimes, I dislike watching charity show. My heart breaks whenever they will be telling the true story of the disabled person. Tears start to flow out from the corner of my eyes.

There are a lot of people who are less fortunate than us. They live strong and happily. They face the world bravely.

Unlike me.

I can never get satisfied. I asked for more. I asked for perfect. I guess that’s life!

I love the art done by Bryan Wong. If I have the money, I will bid for it too. I love sunflower! Sunflower gives me hope and happiness. Sunflower with a Blue Background. I interpret it as Sunshine before any form of depression. I see it this way.

Alright, I know I’m too long-winded already. I will stop right here. Before that, I want to make a declaration. I hate FB. It always fail when I want to upload photo. Maybe, FB doesn’t like me too.

Till then.

I told myself not to be lazy anymore so I redo my Resume and start searching for job today.

Though its official that Singapore is out of recession, its not easy to look for a job. There’s a number of openings for Adminstrative work but I don’t wish to go back to this line. The job scope is similar and I don’t wish to stuck at that position for long. Even If I want to step back into the Financial World, there aren’t openings for Diploma Graduate who doesn’t even have the related Diploma. haiz! =(

So I decided to switch my career all thanks to my mum. One particular day, My mum asked me why haven’t I think of working as a Pre-school Teacher. I told her that I need a Diploma in Early Childhood in order to work as a Pre-school Teacher. She asked me to go and get this diploma then. I laughed at her for being ridiculous.

When I was searching for job today, I saw this playschool hiring Teacher. Though they need related diploma or experience in working  in this line, I still try my luck by sending in my resume. I am so surprised that they ask me down for an interview next week. Woo-hoo!

What should I wear for this interview? I have never been to such interview before. Suggestion please! =)

I don’t know why out of sudden I went to Siew’s Blog to view her photos on her blog.

I found a lot of our photos taken during our poly years in the folder. We have changed so much over the years. Especially my dear Siew, compare to the older days, You have slim down a lot you know? I looked different as well maybe because I have shoulder-length hair that time. How time flies!

So, Its not that I took very little photos with Siew, Is because all our photos are with her. Haha! I have to grab it from her one day.

Alright, I’m meeting Edward and Bella soon. Here I come, Eclipse! =)